Today was my first workout, and let me tell you; I am exhausted.
Now you might be surprised, even scoffing at the idea that I could be exhausted. "Twenty minutes of cardio, and he's tired? BAH!" Perhaps I will be in a situation that I can look back and mock this first step. Maybe I will recognize the importance my exhaustion represents. That this exhaustion is my reward for living.
I am a member of Planet Fitness, and went there for the first time. I had built a considerable amount of hype around my attendance. Truth was, I was terrified. Terrified of being shamed for my attempt. Terrified of what others may have been thinking. Terrified of failure. Most of all terrified of success.
When I arrived there, I was given a quick tout, and then found myself in a crowded locker room. Quickly I found a locker and wordlessly got dressed as quickly as possible. Looking around upon exiting I spotted an open treadmill, and not caring who was next to me climbed on.
First bit of humiliation started right there. I went to put my weight into the machine, and it maxed out at 400 lbs. You may notice the name of the blog, and this number do not match. I am 100 lbs heavier than the maximum allowed weight on the treadmill. I am too fat to be considered for exercise apparently. Bullshit!
Getting the machine calibrated to my needs, I started to walk. Let me tell you, when the quote "cardio heart rate" is between 140 and 160 beats per minute. The pace doesn't go up quickly for you to hit that magic mark when you weight 500 lbs. Trudging along at 2.6 mph quickly put me at a heart rate of 150 bpm, and me taking deep measured breathes. When you have not done anything, in a lifetime to be healthy, 20 minutes with your heart beating that fast, is an eternity.
Something snapped for me right then though. Something changed. I stopped caring what the people there around me might think. I was doing it. I was taking those vastly important steps. I had put my chunky ass up there, got a good pace going, and kept at it.
I held my head high when those first twenty minutes had ended. I didn't try to hide when I got dressed to leave. I got dressed, and walked with my Planet Fitness T-shirt on like a badge of honor. I will be back. I have to be back.
I am exhausted, but I am alive. There is pride to be had in that fact.
Now you might be surprised, even scoffing at the idea that I could be exhausted. "Twenty minutes of cardio, and he's tired? BAH!" Perhaps I will be in a situation that I can look back and mock this first step. Maybe I will recognize the importance my exhaustion represents. That this exhaustion is my reward for living.
I am a member of Planet Fitness, and went there for the first time. I had built a considerable amount of hype around my attendance. Truth was, I was terrified. Terrified of being shamed for my attempt. Terrified of what others may have been thinking. Terrified of failure. Most of all terrified of success.
When I arrived there, I was given a quick tout, and then found myself in a crowded locker room. Quickly I found a locker and wordlessly got dressed as quickly as possible. Looking around upon exiting I spotted an open treadmill, and not caring who was next to me climbed on.
First bit of humiliation started right there. I went to put my weight into the machine, and it maxed out at 400 lbs. You may notice the name of the blog, and this number do not match. I am 100 lbs heavier than the maximum allowed weight on the treadmill. I am too fat to be considered for exercise apparently. Bullshit!
Getting the machine calibrated to my needs, I started to walk. Let me tell you, when the quote "cardio heart rate" is between 140 and 160 beats per minute. The pace doesn't go up quickly for you to hit that magic mark when you weight 500 lbs. Trudging along at 2.6 mph quickly put me at a heart rate of 150 bpm, and me taking deep measured breathes. When you have not done anything, in a lifetime to be healthy, 20 minutes with your heart beating that fast, is an eternity.
Something snapped for me right then though. Something changed. I stopped caring what the people there around me might think. I was doing it. I was taking those vastly important steps. I had put my chunky ass up there, got a good pace going, and kept at it.
I held my head high when those first twenty minutes had ended. I didn't try to hide when I got dressed to leave. I got dressed, and walked with my Planet Fitness T-shirt on like a badge of honor. I will be back. I have to be back.
I am exhausted, but I am alive. There is pride to be had in that fact.
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