Disgusted

I am absolutely disgusted with myself right now. Last night was strength night, and I kicked my own ass through it.

However, the part that disgusted me. I used to body build. Would go and just build mass, definition, strength. I wanted to not just look like I could tear your arms off, I wanted that power.

When I stopped I was squatting 600 lbs. I was benching 380. I was, I was I was... I was laid low tonight. The most I could chest press? 60 lbs. Squat? 80 lbs. Oh how the mighty have fallen. I am disgusted with myself.

Like I told the punk lid giving me shit tonight, I'm here for a huge reason. I refuse to die like this. I will live.

Post first work out review

Today was my first workout, and let me tell you; I am exhausted.

Now you might be surprised, even scoffing at the idea that I could be exhausted.  "Twenty minutes of cardio, and he's tired? BAH!" Perhaps I will be in a situation that I can look back and mock this first step. Maybe I will recognize the importance my exhaustion represents. That this exhaustion is my reward for living.

I am a member of Planet Fitness, and went there for the first time. I had built a considerable amount of hype around my attendance. Truth was, I was terrified. Terrified of being shamed for my attempt. Terrified of what others may have been thinking. Terrified of failure. Most of all terrified of success.

When I arrived there, I was given a quick tout, and then found myself in a crowded locker room. Quickly I found a locker and wordlessly got dressed as quickly as possible. Looking around upon exiting I spotted an open treadmill, and not caring who was next to me climbed on.

First bit of humiliation started right there. I went to put my weight into the machine, and it maxed out at 400 lbs. You may notice the name of the blog, and this number do not match.  I am 100 lbs heavier than the maximum allowed weight on the treadmill. I am too fat to be considered for exercise apparently. Bullshit!

Getting the machine calibrated to my needs, I started to walk.  Let me tell you, when the quote "cardio heart rate" is between 140 and 160 beats per minute. The pace doesn't go up quickly for you to hit that magic mark when you weight 500 lbs. Trudging along at 2.6 mph quickly put me at a heart rate of 150 bpm, and me taking deep measured breathes. When you have not done anything, in a lifetime to be healthy, 20 minutes with your heart beating that fast, is an eternity.

Something snapped for me right then though. Something changed. I stopped caring what the people there around me might think. I was doing it. I was taking those vastly important steps. I had put my chunky ass up there, got a good pace going, and kept at it.

I held my head high when those first twenty minutes had ended. I didn't try to hide when I got dressed to leave. I got dressed, and walked with my Planet Fitness T-shirt on like a badge of honor. I will be back.  I have to be back.

I am exhausted, but I am alive. There is pride to be had in that fact.

My Work Out.

So I hired my friend Ricky to train me. The guy focuses a lot on strength training, and to be honest that is where I find myself most comfortable. He also realizes the curve I am on, and that I need to build up to pounding potentially hours out at the gym.

This is my phase 1 Strength work out.


Warm-up
 Treadmill 5 mins.

Core/Balance/ Plyometric

Med Ball Rotation Standing  
 3 sets, 12 rep,s 30s Rest
  Coaching Tip 10 lbs med ball

Single leg balance
 3 sets, 30s Reps, Rest 30s.
   Coaching Tip Balance on 1 leg

Step up
 2 sets, 6 each
  Coaching Tip: Start with small step.



Resistance

Curl to press
 3 sets, 12 reps, Rest 30s

Squat to sit on bench
 3 sets, 12 reps, Rest 30s
  Coaching Tip: Sit on bench and stand

Seated row
 3 sets, 12 reps, Rest 30s

Lateral raise
 3 sets, 12 reps, Rest 30s

Chest press
 3 Sets, 12 Reps, Rest 30s
  Coaching Tip: Either on bench w/DB, or machine

Tricep pressdown
 3 sets, 12 reps, Rest 30s
  Coaching Tip: Hold at bottom for 1s and squeeze.


 Cool-Down

Treadmill 5 min
Stretch 5 min


This is my current schedule of workouts.

Feb 24 Cardio 20 min
Feb 25 Strength #1
Feb 26 Cardio 20 min
Feb 27 Strength #1
Feb 28 Rest

March 1 Rest
March 2 Strength #1
March 3 Cardio 20 min
March 4 Strength #2
March 5 Cardio 20 min
March 6 Strength #1
March 7 Rest

March 8 Rest
March 9 Strength #2
March 10 Cardio 20 min
March 11 Strength #1
March 12 Cardio 20 min
March 13 Strength #2
March 14 Rest

March 15 Rest
March 16 Strength #3
March 17 Cardio 25 min
March 18 Strength #2
March 19 Cardio 25 min
March 20 Strength #1
March 21 Rest

March 22 Rest
March 23 Strength #2
March 24 Cardio 25 min
March 25 Strength #1
March 26  Cardio 25 min
March 27 Strength #3
March 28 Rest

March 29 Rest
March 30 Strength #4
March 31 Cardio 30 min

Notes: Keep up the Paleo, make sure to eat protein and some fruit right after your workout. Aim for 300g of protein per day.


It has not been revealed to me yet what Strength #2, #3, or #4 are.  I will let all of you know, as soon as I know.

Steps

It seems the first logical step was to join a gym. I mean, where else would one perform the necessary tasks required? So after a very brief search, I settled on Planet Fitness. I won't lie, I am surprisingly self-conscious and vain. So the thought of a quote "judgement free zone" was like music to my mind.

Oh, whats that? You call shenanigans on my claim of being vain?  It may be hard to fathom, but the sin of vanity does not follow just the quote beautiful people. I'm aware of the physical charms I do possess despite my rotund appearance. Aware, and open about flaunting them.  Enough about that though, onto the rest of this post.

The second logical step was realizing I needed direction. You see, I currently have all of the focus of a coked out sorority sister. Let that one sink in.  Yeah, I am that bad. So I reached out to my friend Ricky.

Ricky lost his way, got into crazy bad shape, and then turned that around. The man teaches, lives, no embodies fitness. It is his life. He took my friend Santino, and motivated him from a beast of sedentary life, to a gym rat. That is the kind of motivation I need. Ricky has a blog as well, that while it hasn't been updated in a while, did have some fantastic information  prior to some revamps. I hope he keeps up with it again.

Long story short, I reached out to Ricky to give me exactly what I need. To give me direction,and motivation. He has agreed to take me under his wing, and I await his directions.

Now, the last thing is diet. The wife and I have been following... fairly closely the Paleo Diet.  The concept is sound, and has for the most part been easy to follow.  More to come later.

For now though, I leave you, and will tell you more later.

In the begining

My name is Tom. I am 32 years old, I stand 6'5", I weigh 500 lbs, and I am going to die. I am going to die much sooner unless I do something, anything to change the fact that I weigh 500 lbs.  This blog is my inane, and insane ramblings about the journey I am undertaking. Will I fail? Probably. Will I still try? Absolutely. While I do want to die, I don't want to die like this. I want to die as the result of something else. 

Do not misunderstand my words. I do not have a death wish. If that was the case, I would do nothing differently. There would be no blog, no diet, no exercise regime. There would just be me, fat and happy.

This Blog is going to chronicle my journey. From my current weight of 500 lbs, to Fit. Whatever that may be. I will piss, moan, whine, complain, and procrastinate. My sarcasm, and rapier sharp wit will in turn provide comedic gold for those of you reading this.