Tired

I haven't posted in a long time, and for good reason.

My depression is at an all time high?  low?  It's pretty terrible in any event.

My wife in her infinite wisdom recognizes this, and thinks writing things out will help.

Truth is, I'm tired.

I'm tired of feeling like there is no point.

I'm tired of breaking everything .

I'm tired of feeling sick

I'm tired of not fitting anything or anywhere.

I'm tired of living.

Ultimately I'm tired of losing.

Depression is a constant fight, and I realize now its a losing fight.  Because you are fighting your own mind. You can't fight your own mind by yourself, you will lose.

My wife deserves better than I'm giving her.  And dying is giving her the very worst.

I'm seeking help.